Misplacing and Replacing Trust

Someone I was told I could trust betrayed me.

Part of our discussion was helpful and gave me some more insights, but it triggered more panic attacks.

As I process these triggers, I am restoring myself.

I am complete everyday all the time.

I am discovering the immoveable me.

What I observe is not a part of me.

I am observing someone else’s life view, not my own.

Instead of being taken in, another’s view can simply wash over me.

I do not agree with it, and it obviously does not agree with me.

I have the power to simply reject it.

I reaffirm my own wonderfully appropriate and uplifting life view.

This replacement reaffirms whom I have chosen to be.

I love me.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com

Finding My Way, Finding My Place

I find I am still finding my way.

I am grateful to have a deep sense of identity while I am alone.

Now, I am having to learn, instead of how I fit in around everyone else, my absolute place whether I am around other people or not.

I still have the same identity.

Even when the places that I have are occupied by other people, I still have my own identity.

I still have rights and I am able to express those rights in assertive and visible ways.

I don’t have to hide in order to get anything done.

I don’t have to recede or become less.

I don’t have to come up creative and convoluted ways to get where I am going.

I still occupy all the space that is mine, even when there are other people and their activities in that space.

Apparently, I express it somewhat differently.

That is what I am having to find out.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Learning New Things

When I learn something new, I enter someone else’s world.

It is such a privilege to learn from an expert.

It is also fun to learn from people who are sharing their processes from the beginning.

I love knowing how it feels to be an expert.

I am also so thrilled as I introduce myself to each new skill.

Each one uses different techniques and I get to see the world from a slightly different aspect each time.

It is stimulating to learn new things.

It is exciting to see the shape new skills take.

I am never, ever bored, because I can improve on some new skill I have been learning.

It keeps me engaged and makes me a more interesting person.

By varying what I do, I get to meet more people and share their world a little bit.

I love how learning new things puts me in touch with more communities.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

What I Have and What I Don't Have

Support comes from within.

Various kinds of support come from surroundings and other people.

But if you have not been trained to feel supported, you may feel without it.

Once you discover your own support from within, you will attract more of it to you.

Whenever you feel a lack of support, you can generate more from within.

Then you will find the resources you need and you can expect connections to work out.

You are then in your right place at the right time.

With confusion or self-doubt, things often do not work out.

Insisting that they must work out, that you deserve a good life, turns you to search in different ways.

Once you begin, and you discover the “within”, you are on the right path.

Going “within” over and over signifies that you are open to receiving something that is there.

And then, you find it.

The deep peace.

The quiet.

The guidance, step by step.

And then, you have all you will ever need.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage 

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com

Today's Light

Everyday there is light.

Everyday there is inspiration.

It is not the same as yesterday’s light and inspiration.

It is a little bit different.

Because you have grown a little bit more in your life, your new inspiration takes you a little bit farther.

You are empowered to take the next step.

And you are given the guidance to do so.

Every day, when you ask for light and guidance, you open yourself to receive it.

You gain more confidence in this process after you have practiced it for a while.

It becomes more and more natural to ask for light and to anticipate it with expectation.

Soon, there is an almost constant flow.

And one day, the moment you think of it, you are flooded with light.

This is a wonderful practice, and like any other practice, it must be maintained.

However, there is no limit on how much you can grow with each day’s light.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Playing Our Part

What is our part is the emergence of this new energy?

Exclusion has had its run and is no longer.

Inclusion is the new conclusion.

It is disrupting the old exclusivity.

The new momentum and energy is so powerful.

It has been building up awareness for centuries.

The earth wants to nurture us, and with our new awareness, there is room for all of us.

Our part is to experience what is going on around us.

Our part is to observe and to act.

Our part is to move forward.

The tipping point has come and boiled over.

During this eruption, new ground is being defined.

New is uncontainable in old forms.

They are evolving and expanding.

Observe and take action to play your part.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Become Happy to Grow

I thought I wanted to be something else.

But this is what I am turning out to be.

I had my direction planned entirely differently.

But then life kicked in, and kept kicking.

After a while, I got the idea.

I had to solve these other problems which I really didn’t want to have.

Why had they come to disrupt me and the life I thought I wanted?

So, I had to solve the problems that came up first.

And then as I kept finding the solutions, I found a completely different direction for my life.

I have learned it is better to be happy growing than to fight it.

I am gaining some essential grounding that was never developed in my life.

I am learning that I can build on confidence as I solve the problems.

I can still enjoy my creativity as I watch it blossom in different directions.

I am finding new ground, and being happy to grow there.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Sharing Light

When you share a good idea, you are adding light to the world.

I love learning about new ways to do things, gardening, painting, whatever I am interested in.

Through the internet and youtube videos, everything is available.

Each new idea, presented by a person who loves it, adds light.

Sometimes the person is an expert, sometimes an amateur, but the enjoyment and enthusiasm communicate in an encouraging and uplifting way.

While searching for form information and ideas, sometimes I don’t find a good fit right away.

But as I continue looking, a picture will form for me.

Something will work from one presentation; something else will work from another.

As I continue to reflect, it comes together in a workable and pleasing way for me.

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed with gladness. 

It is unspeakably delightful.

Sometimes an idea just gently emerges and suddenly, everything is in place.

I am so grateful for all the people who do share their ideas, experts and beginners.

You give me delight as I expand my ability to play with my ideas.

You expand my resources.

Thank you for sharing your light.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Ideas Are Always Here

I am a trained receiver.

All I do all day is receive ideas.

They come to me effortlessly, as I gently turn within.

This is my habit, to remember how loved I am.

I feel that love from within and it spreads out and encircles me and it includes everyone I see, and everyone, all over the planet, that I don’t see.

It is effortless love.

It comes, I receive.

Sometimes there is a block to receiving if there has been a terrible disturbance and especially if it has gone on for a long time.

It may take a while to peel away the layers of disturbance and turmoil, but the life spark is always there, and eventually, it will be fanned into a thriving life.

This happened to me, so I know.

And behind the spark, deep within is love.

It is not called there.

That is where it comes from.

It is just there all the time, until we discover it.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com

The Value of Separation

While my husband is working his seasonal business, we live in two separate locations.

It is always interesting to see what happens to my schedule and priorities when I am on my own.

He says he experiences changes also.

While he has been gone, I have been refining my workspace.

I make little changes from time to time, moving one object to a different shelf, setting up a weaving project in a more harmonious location, moving through projects gently, less self-consciously.

He is refining and defining spaces in his mobile workshop.

We communicate through electronics - text, email, phone and Facebook.

We are each reading interesting things.

We are each spending time in various venues.

I go to quilt guild meetings, knit night, weaving class and guild, beekeepers, and spin-in’s.

He conducts pinewood derby workshops, and picks up conversations with friends.

We cook different foods.

He is eating differently.  So am I.

We have seen the same movie in our two different locations.  He has been to a couple more movies.

Wen we are together, we enjoy many of the same things.

But while we are separate, our distinct individualities have room to define themselves a bit more clearly.

I think we have the best of both worlds.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

When a Trusted Friend Sustains Shock

When a trusted friend sustains shock, it may show the relationship in a different light.

Where you assigned certain roles to each of you, there may be a sudden and shocking change.

Maybe you were the strong one, maybe they were.

Maybe you were the parent, maybe you were the child.

Do you treat the situation differently for a friend than for a trusted relative?

Whenever a strong event triggers a change, or when a change surfaces violently, it can be shocking to both parties.

What is your role in such a case?

Do you resent it?

Is it simply too much to bear?

Is it part of a pattern from the past which was never addressed or healed ?

Do you rush in to comfort, aid, nurture?

Is the other person supposed to be the nurturer?

The roles we have assigned ourselves and others certainly do change over time.

We never know what the tipping point may be.

But we do know the eternal things, the love, the joy, the intelligence, the humor, the dedication are still there, even though the shocking event may have ignited a rupture.

It is certainly a hard thing to ask, but can we move beyond the shock, the betrayal, to what endures?

Can we acknowledge the bedrock underneath and the many years of strength before the crash?

Can we give ourselves and the other party time and space to recover?

Can we reconsider?

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com 

Knowing Life

There is information and there is life.

The type of information we like to know relates to what we do and who we know and what we and they are doing.

At one point, when I was missing information about a family member, I thought about what I might actually be hearing.

I realized it was those common everyday happenings that I missed.

So, I made some up.

I realized that whether or not they applied didn’t matter.

It was just that I could make them up, and that I could either be satisfied with what I was being told or with what I made up.

So then it didn’t mater to me.

Since I was still out of the loop and it made me sad, I listened for a healing and uplifting thought.

Two thoughts were given to me.

The first one was that I could be happy anyway.

The second one was gratitude.

So every time I thought about my missing person, I reminded myself that it was OK to be happy anyway.

And then I just thought and breathed gratitude until I was as full as I could be.

I just kept practicing this until it became a part of me which I can depend on instead of letting my happiness depend on whether information was being shared or withheld.

The strongest lessons are not easy, but they are the most powerful.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com