When a trusted friend sustains shock, it may show the relationship in a different light.
Where you assigned certain roles to each of you, there may be a sudden and shocking change.
Maybe you were the strong one, maybe they were.
Maybe you were the parent, maybe you were the child.
Do you treat the situation differently for a friend than for a trusted relative?
Whenever a strong event triggers a change, or when a change surfaces violently, it can be shocking to both parties.
What is your role in such a case?
Do you resent it?
Is it simply too much to bear?
Is it part of a pattern from the past which was never addressed or healed ?
Do you rush in to comfort, aid, nurture?
Is the other person supposed to be the nurturer?
The roles we have assigned ourselves and others certainly do change over time.
We never know what the tipping point may be.
But we do know the eternal things, the love, the joy, the intelligence, the humor, the dedication are still there, even though the shocking event may have ignited a rupture.
It is certainly a hard thing to ask, but can we move beyond the shock, the betrayal, to what endures?
Can we acknowledge the bedrock underneath and the many years of strength before the crash?
Can we give ourselves and the other party time and space to recover?
Can we reconsider?
© 2017 Kathryn Hardage
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