Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Keeping It All Current

It has to be happening in the “now”.

It is wrenching to try to look at the past to evaluate it.

It is speculation to look at the future.

Everything is happening on a continuum that is actually getting us somewhere that we want to be.

The things that happen in passing are all OK.

Today’s conclusions are the strongest ones so far.

Stay with today.

I must remind myself.

Things just cannot align harmoniously if there are other time periods trying to pile on at the same time.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

A New Path and a New Language

Going through a healing process is a unique kind of validation.

It acknowledges the pain of the survivor, while teaching a new language for a new kind of wholeness.

It is tricky to continue to interact with the world.

It requires acknowledgement of mental and emotional prison bars. 

Historically suppressed expression has many layers to deal with.

Discovering how to meet needs which have never even been acknowledged is challenging.

There is no vocabulary for them.

Other coping skills filled in instead.

Living with the misunderstanding of people who mean well has its own challenges.

Replacing frustration with acceptance is a huge step.

You will find your own way.

Indeed, you are the only one who can do it.

Other paths will not suffice.

But, you will find yours.

Your commitment makes that a given.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

Monday, May 22, 2017

Good Self-Care

I am learning about self-care as I continue my healing journey.

I am learning that it is normal to take care of myself first.

I never knew that.

I thought everyone else came first and I had to just keep praying for strength and resources.

With good self-care, I realize I am cleaning my house for myself, not my mother.

I am taking the time to get things done that I want to do.

I am taking the time to figure new things out without the sense of time pressure.

I just got back from a new dentist with my usual good report and kudos for my good self-care.

I am getting help on things which are really difficult for me, like bookkeeping and sorting receipts.

I am getting help on mowing the yard and unloading gardening soil and compost.

I am visiting people who need and appreciate my knowledge and skills.

I am setting up my music studio so I can share my unique music reading readiness method with more children and their parents.

I am discovering my actual own feelings about things.

I am trusting myself.  Wow.  I am not wrong about everything.

I am eating well with the best organic quality food.

My physical harmony is testimony to my good self-care.

My mental well-being is becoming newly and truly established.

I care for who I am.  I am a good person.  I was brainwashed by the abusers.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

My Own Highlights

A feeling that goes deep down.

An experience which fulfills great longing.

A relief at a responsibility fulfilled.

Successful reception of ideas.

Outreaching of ideas.

Support from like-minded people.

Gathering and sharing ideas.

Increasing skill knowledge.

Since I know what is important to me, I can create my own highlights.

They do not have to match anyone else’s because they are mine.

I get to decide what is valuable to me.

I get to choose what makes my life worthwhile and to do it.

I get to choose who I associate with.

I choose people who are uplifting and who want to create a better world.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

Sunday, May 21, 2017

The Strongest Factor in My Life

My desire for peace and freedom and to see others with the same rights and experiences is turning out to be the strongest factor in my life.

I have grown up in a time which First established voting for more American citizens, then expanded education and the arts, and is now taking it away.

i grew up with idealism and saw it become a reality.

When so much good can be done by so many people, it is amazing to watch what overpowering greed is doing.

Fortunately, more and more people are becoming aware of the conflict between good for all and obscene self-centeredness.

I am grateful to see the political battle lines being drawn as we emerge into a more compassionate society.

Naturally, the steps leading to these moments are quite ugly.

The fear of limitation is so implanted in people’s minds that many people believe what the greedy rich are saying.

And yet, we all have so much to share with each other.

We have time, and listening, and experiences.

We have kindness, and an ability to expand our view, once we are willing.

With communication, all kinds of steps can be taken.

The signs are so obvious and the solutions so plentiful once the fear of limitation is overcome by compassion and kindness.

We can still see a level of wealth and sharing never before imagined once we get this feeling on a consistent basis.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

Finding Freedom Again

Once we find a place of freedom and one of the many ways to get there, we know we can find it again and again.

At some point, we will know how to stay there.

In the meantime, we build up a taste for it, and a desire to experience more of what we have discovered.

I find that when I get thrown off balance, I can breathe deeply and find my way to a quiet moment.

I can expand that quiet moment into a place of inner listening.

As I listen, I regain my sense of direction.

I am undistracted by the noise and conflict around me.

I remember my priorities.

I gain my footing.

I can take the next step.

This is my freedom.

Once I remember who I am and act that way, I am in my place of freedom.

Finding it is difficult at first, but I get better and better at it every time.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Personal Courage and Compassion

In the light of more and more revelations about the past, I am developing a lot more respect for myself, both in the areas of personal courage and compassion.

Feeling the feelings and releasing the sensations is not easy.

Numbing myself in order to take care of the daily business of work and raising a family was a persistent and useful coping skill.

Learning to be big enough to accept all my experiences has required a lot of courage.

Discovering a strength I never knew I had to rise up and object is revitalizing.

Learning that it is my right to object to coercive behavior is empowering.

The phrase “brainwashing of the abusers” goes deep.

How to learn about connecting and connections when so many were cut off before they had a chance to develop.

How to cocoon myself in friendships instead of in isolation.

How to enjoy the goodness in me.

How to express my happiness without fear.

These are all steps I am taking.

© 2017 Kathryn Hardage