I spend a significant amount of time dealing with my fears.
Sometimes they feel overwhelming and go on for a long time.
I use my powerful affirmation tools repetitively until they yield.
I do this without knowing when I will be free.
But it always happens, even if it takes many times throughout the night.
The negative imprinting from early childhood goes so deep it is taking a lot of attention and self-compassion to deal with it.
When I do find my freedom, it is by noticing that I am suddenly writing or involved in some kind of creative work.
I realise my release came through at some point and I moved right into my day.
I am so grateful every time.
From early childhood, I developed the habit of focusing on a prayer from Sunday School while I was being abused.
I had many healings, the most notable of which is that I was able to keep functioning in school.
After my hidden past came into view at age fifty, I had to learn to deal with the accumulation of fears which had never been addressed.
I am grateful for the many writers, workshop leaders, and therapists for the inspiration and tools which they shared.
Their work has enabled me to keep going.
I am grateful for the breakthroughs which enable me to make significant progress on my projects and goals.
Little by little I am getting there.
I am taking the next steps and meeting the requirements and learning the new skills.
I am grateful for every step of healing.
I say this also to encourage the many people who are dealing with similar obstacles.
We each have gifts to share.
It is worth dealing with all the challenges in order to share our gifts.
We are all worthy, despite what we were told when we were so very young.
We can all lend our newly developing strength to those who need it to help them face their fears and evolve beyond them.
© 2019 Kathryn Hardage
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