As I continue to heal, I can feel the difference between my own thoughts and the thoughts and actions which have been imposed on me.
I am creating more room for my own true identity and this is crowding out the feelings which have terrorized me for so long.
As I stand up to my abusive parents (in my mind, because they are long dead), I can feel the visceral challenge.
With trembling body, I go out the door to run my errands.
I brace myself for the inevitable physical disorganization, but it does not come.
A bully will always back down when faced with courage and integrity.
I am amazed when I return, that I was able to perform such a simple feat without backing down.
My heart rate is elevated, but I made it.
The next time is better.
I am finding my way back to competence and control of my body and of my life.
I am gaining the confidence which was hidden under the terror for so many years.
I am facing down my demons.
I begin to embody the hope that I will complete my many and delightful goals.
My self-criticism is ebbing away and instead I embrace self-compassion.
I trust myself.
I am able to follow through on what I desire to do.
I am able to do the little things.
I leave behind old associations and their negative effects.
I find new uplifting friends in new uplifting surroudnings.
I am able to sustain myself, physically, emotionally, financially.
My inner core of self-respect expands outward to all who meet me.
I love my new personhood and embrace it fully
I am no longer the terrorized littel girl of so any decades.
I, as a strong adult, have crushed the demons which caused so much despair and terror.
I live fully, confidently and happily.
© 2019 Kathryn Hardage
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