I Learned, Anyway

I was taught not to know things and derailed consistently enough to develop serious self-doubt, but I have learned to trust myself anyway.

I have fumbled my way up through the numbing filters until I could face the pain of the past and take my first tiny step to freedom.

I still take it step by step, but since I know what I am dealing with, it is now a case of building the strength every time I discover another awareness I missed out on.

No matter that it is unfair, I now know what it takes to deal with it, so I will do the work and I will accomplish my goals.

This is the greatest freedom for me, knowing what it is that I have to deal with.

After facing the fact of my intentional derailment by sick people,  I can work my way up through the numbness and find out what is actually going on.

I can look around me and discover what it is I missed out on.

I can take the steps I need to remedy my situation.

I can build up the strength to become proficient in skills which I am building for the first time.

I can become successful.

The first thing I am feeling as I work through the numbness is relief and then, compassion, for myself.

I do have the ability to relate to people once I push the cruel messages I was fed out of the way.

I do have the ability to be valued once I move out of the habits of influence of the cruel and powerful people of my childhood.

I do have the ability to become proficient in skills which I value instead of the ones I was forced to learn.

I have discovered a self-identity which I really, really love.

Despite horrible circumstances and emotional handicaps, I am making my way towards my own important goals.

I know others have faced worse, and I appreciate their astounding success stories.

I am grateful for every person, every writer, every workshop, every affirmation which has helped me take more and more tiny steps.

I hope to add to them to inspire someone else.

That is what I have learned anyway.

© 2019 Kathryn Hardage

www.lovedcherishedadored.blogspot.com