It continues to be an interesting journey to contemplate my actual reactions to situations.
Instead of following the negative childhood programming that was reinforced so intensely, I have acquired enough more recent tools and techniques to allow myself to separate out my own actual thoughts.
In the middle of events, when I start to feel trapped or feel a panic attack, I have new presence of mind to stop and observe before the old tide of emotion takes over.
Hmmm. This feels like a familiar situation.
But I am not powerless.
I have rights.
I have thoughts.
I have control of myself in this situation.
No one has control of me or my body.
I have that control.
It is mine.
It is my right.
Even though in the past it was overridden, it has always been my right.
Now that I know this, I can remain distinctly in control.
I can stay or I can leave.
But either way, my body and my emotions are mine to control.
© 2011 Kathryn Hardage
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