I finally figured it out, even though I have heard this many times.
Forgiveness frees you, the forgiver.
When you don’t forgive, every time you think about the incident or the person, you add another layer to it until it becomes a giant tumbleweed ready to knock you down in a high wind.
When you do forgive, even by being able to admit that it would be nice to see it in a different way, you lessen the impact of the incident or person on your life.
You travel lighter.
It is too bad that something bad happened.
It is indeed unfortunate that people react the way they do at times.
It is even terrible that bad things go on for years.
But, there is still more to life than those bad, unfortunate and even terrible things.
I have finally learned the truth, through experience, that what I focus on brings more of it to me.
It was with a huge wrench that I was able to build up the ability to distract myself from long-term child trauma.
Once I had the distraction tools in place and could use them fairly consistently, I was ready for the next step.
Collin Tipping’s book Radical Forgiveness was the key.
Even by using his worksheet which is free on-line, (http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/pdf/RFWorksheetMarch.pdf), I have found myself able to remove myself from the debilitating effects of carrying years of terrible memories and emotions within me.
The subtitle to this work sheet is “The TRUE Transformation of a Grievance”.
I am grateful to be travelling lighter and lighter and able to give more and more of my time to the true gifts which are within me and which crave to be released.
Even though occasionally I have to deal with a trigger and find myself in a deep panic attack, it lasts for only a minute or two, and I am able to bring myself out.
Without forgiveness, and I still work at it, my depression and panic could last for weeks.
The effects lessened to shorter periods of about thirty minutes, and now finally, I am able to move back to where I like to live, truly, in peace and happiness.
It took over twelve years of concentrated study, but it has made my life enjoyable to be this much freer.
© 2014 Kathryn Hardage
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